I should absolutely not start this blog.
I don’t have time. Like all my other working mom friends, I am running the daily marathon just trying to get through the bedtime routine without snapping at my oldest daughter Aubrey. I manage 13 adults at work, but when I come home I feel like I “report up” to her…she’s four years old. There is nothing like dinner and getting her ready for bed that can make me come unglued so far, and so fast.
Yet, it keeps writing itself in my head… begging to be put down on paper.
In some ways, we don’t need another mom book or blog.
I should know, I’ve bought and read all of them desperately looking for answers. Is it supposed to be this hard? Am I supposed to feel so crazed… so tired I cry on a regular basis from sheer fatigue?
These are the books in my home library: Lean In, Maxed Out, Overwhelmed, Carry on Warrior, Present over Perfect, Girl Wash Your Face… these are the books working moms write for each other, to get us through and find solidarity. I am grateful for these books. They have been cathartic and ministered to my tired momma heart on many nights when I was too stressed to fall asleep…dreading the 5:00 am alarm that relentlessly comes and must be obeyed to get everyone to work and school on time.
But these books also have something in common. They are written mom to mom, with advice on how moms can adjust to make it all work. Some say moms should dig in harder, some say we should relax and let stuff go, some suggest slowing our career path or blazing our own trail as an entrepreneur. Some declare we need to say “no” more. Some concede we should outsource more domestic tasks. I’ve outsourced my yard work, house cleaning, and dinners… yet I’m still tired.
When I look at all my working mom friends, I think they are truly doing the best with what they’ve got.. and it’s still a brutal daily routine. But this is so like us moms… when something is not working, WE adjust. We’re so capable and flexible and smart we just keep trying to make it work- somehow. We don’t realize we’re aging ourselves and burning out in the process.
What if the answer is NOT more adjusting on the part of working moms? What if there are tangible and structural changes our employers could make that would enable us to do this whole working mom thing with a little less blood, sweat and tears?
That’s exactly what this blog explores. It’s written with both moms AND employers in mind to start a conversation about how we can make the world of work as friendly to the realities of working women as it already is for working men. It’s meant for the companies that want more women, especially in leadership roles, but have trouble keeping them – particularly after they start having kids. Many of those women want to keep working, they just can’t force the square peg of their life into the round hole of corporate culture.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Let’s get serious about how to make it work for moms.
We’re worth it.